Events and Social Anxiety

On monday (1st July) I went to a school to do an author event. I'd heard about it through someone at work who is good friends with someone who is doing the MA Writing for Young People. She was hoping to get more authors and writers in to the library that she works at, to inspire the teenagers and do more for the school. As someone who is up-and-coming and wanting to do all I can to put my author voice out there, I wasn't going to pass it off.

I had a few worries. I had never really interacted with young people, especially the young people of today. It's been over ten years since I was in a secondary school properly, and I was worried that no one would show up because it's not cool to go to a writers event, even if there are some bookish teens left out there. This worry was nipped in the bud quickly when a big group of young girls came through the door to the library. Soon enough there was about thirty teens sat around, eating their lunch while they listened to me stumble through my reading.

The other worry I had was my ability to read out loud. Flashbacks to my primary school years came to me where I was gifted-and-talented in English but was dropped down a reading grade because of my inability to read out loud. I have always been self-conscious about reading aloud and often stumble easily and go too fast. I practised twice before going into the event, both times to my partner in a different country, and over Discord where I couldn't see his face. Reading to teens, who I was worried of laughing at me because I don't know how to read, was still terrifying.

But I got through it. If anyone snickered or pointed at me I didn't see, because I had my eyes glued to my pages. When I'd read I asked if anyone had questions, and this is when my confidence was boosted. A lot of the teens had questions. The librarian and I had sorted out a few starter questions to give to the kids if they were shy of going first, but no one used the planted questions and some of the things asked were really interesting. Questions like "What is your favourite bit of writing you have done?" "How have you been developing your author career?" and "Are there any books like yours that you would recommend?"

Lastly, it was good to see the library, and to see the teens in the library. Some of them were taking books out after the event before the bell rang, and when I was talking about what books I like and some of the nerdy inspirations that were put into my novel I had some nods of approval from girls that I was told do Cosplay and like games.

It was a great learning experience, and it really boosted my confidence. I saw that there was still an audience for me and books like mine, and that teens would respond well to it. I also learned that I could be brave enough to stand in front of the harshest critics and read really badly.

https://conscioused.org/wiki/social-anxiety/